Things To Do This Week

The month of August features a number of concerts coming to our fair city: Jack Johnson on the 21^st, adored by the hemp necklace and Abercrombie-wearing college crowd and loathed by, well, everyone else, big names Oasis, Beck, Blue Rodeo, Bonnie Raitt, Stone Temple Pilots - even the accordion-playing Weird Al Yankovic is back. Bret Michaels is onstage with Poison at the Red Robinson Show Theatre on the 31^st if you've got $135 plus to spare (insert joke here about the rising price of hair extension glue and lip filler). This week is a little quieter, the highlight being the Vancouver Queer Film Fest, with an expected 12,000 attendees.

1- Thursday, August 14, 2008 – Vancouver Queer Film Festival

Calling it the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Film Festival is just too long, and the word “queer” has largely gone from controversial to acceptable among the above-mentioned communities. Running from August 14-24, the 20^th Anniversary Vancouver Queer Film Festival features over 130 films at various theatres around the city. Come see an impressive lineup of cinematic flicks, from the sombre Two Homelands, filmed covertly in Cuba about the process of coming out in an often unwelcoming community, to the lighter Opening Gala Like A Virgin, about a Korean high school boy with a Madonna-fueled fantasy life who desperately wants to become a girl.

Don't think the fun ends at the cinema – Vancouver's second largest film festival kicks off some smoking hot parties. Start it off right at the Opening Gala party at – where else – Celebrities nightclub on Davie. Check the website for a complete listing of costume-optional, burlesque and drag parties, music and dancing.

Buy a festival pass for $120 or $90 for senior/unemployed, or individual tickets for $10/$7 each. Also check out volunteer opportunities on the festival site at www.queerfilmfestival.ca. and get involved in everything from greeting festival guests to selling tickets.

2- Friday, August 15, 2008 – Yuk Yuk's Comedy

This week check out comedians Sean Proudlove and Jy Harris – who appeared on Jerry Springer as a failed porn star – twice. See the club's website at www.yukyuks.com for all showtimes and ticket info, as there's lots going on throughout the week. If you can bear some moments of really, really terrible comedy – you will feel downright embarrassed for some of the really hopeless ones - mixed in with some genuinely funny newcomers, check out the bargain price of $5 for amateur night Crash and Burn on Tuesdays.

3- Saturday, August 16, 2008 – Pat Benatar

Is she still singing bitter songs about ex-lovers? You bet. However, performing with husband Neil Geraldo has softened some of the edge, and while she's kept the trademark red lipstick, marital bliss has watered down her earlier songwriting to lighter fare. Pat Benatar is still the queen of I-want-you-to-suffer lyrics, and now in her fifties, she is recognized not only by the Nintendo generation but the pubescent playstation one as well, since "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" is featured on Guitar Hero III. See her at River Rock Show Theatre in Richmond at 8 p.m. Tickets are $64.50/54.50 (plus service charges and fees) at www.ticketmaster.ca.

4- Sunday, August 17, 2008 – Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run/walk

If you dare, join the 12th annual Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run/Walk to benefit the Wreck Beach Preservation Society. You can also take part in the 5-km benefit fully clothed if you want to spare onlookers, or just don't feel comfortable letting it all hang out. Starts at Wreck Beach (UBC) at 12 p.m., get tickets for $25/20. Get more information at www.barebuns.ca

5 – Monday, August 18, 2008 – Q'aysca:m Visits the Museum of Anthropology

The Musqueam has occupied Vancouver and its surrounding areas for thousands of years, and the q'aysca:m – a female figure carved out of stone – was given to them by their neighbours years ago in Indian Arm. Musqueam traditions tell of q'aysca:m being won during a game of strength and skill, and the figure was later transported to Musqueam by canoe. After being missing for almost 20 years, the figure has been found and is on exhibit until September 1. www.moa.ubc.ca

6 – Tuesday, August 19, 2008 – Sins of the City Tour

Learn about the early days of criminal Vancouver with the walking tour Sins of the City. Taking you through the oldest parts of Vancouver, you'll be guided while hearing rich stories about prohibition and liquor law enforcement, the development of the early drug trade and Canada's drug trade origins, racial tensions that led to murder, the evolution of the sex trade, and the first gambling spots in the city. You can also visit the Police Museum on the day of the walking tour for no additional cost. Tickets are $15 adults/$12 students and seniors. More info at vancouverpolicemuseum.ca.

7 – Wednesday, August 20, 2008 – SubUrbia

Eric Bogosian has adapted the 1995 film (starring Steve Zahn and Parker Posey) into a play about a collection of frustrated suburbanites whose lives are going nowhere, who gather to welcome an old friend returning after a successful tour with his rock band. It's like a higher-rent version of Clerks, with the convenience store swapped out for an every-suburb neighbourhood of ugly houses and mini-malls. SubUrbia runs until August 30 at the Playright's Theatre Centre on Granville Island. Tickets $22 Adults, $16 Seniors/Students (with valid student ID). www.twentysomethingtheatre.com.